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The Mysterious Franciscan Comprehensive, Three-phase Cardiopulmonary Program

There’s a TV show still being streamed somewhere called Nurse Jackie whose tagline is “Life is full of little pricks”.

 

In episode one Jackie, head of the ER while doing intake on a newbie explains “Doctors don’t heal patients, nurses do”.

Franciscan nurses exhibited their skills and uplifting demeanors while I spent the night Friday, April 5th, and a procedural post-recovery day after my return migration from the “money maker” err cath lab – (overheard chatter).

 

Every nurse showed empathy, and enthusiasm and made sure I got fed and shot up with insulin. 

 

More good stuff on nurses later 

 

I can’t say so much for the doctors – again.

 

 

Picking up where I left off in 2022 where over 20 Franciscan doctors were unable to reduce my systolic blood pressure to under 200 – read more here-> https://redheadedcatbirds.com/superezsytems-where-the-sun-never-sleeps-empire/

 

I had my wife drive me to the spanking new Franciscan hospital on Friday, April 5th for chest pains I had been having all freakin’ week. 

 

Whatta are you a tough guy? You waited all freakin’ week – there’s no shame in asking for help!

 

A-C-T-U-A-L-L-Y, the Mrs. drove me to the emergency room Sunday, March 31st around noon where I complained of chest pains.

 

Six hours later the young doctor (old enough to literally be a grandchild) decided to ignore the pain in my chest and settle on a single piece of data, my Troponin level which remained steady ay 40 after 3 blood pulls.

 

“No need to keep you overnight, not seeing any increase, have a nice evening”.

 

So I had what I thought was heartburn for the next seven days.

 

Fast forward to Friday, April 5th my return ER visit.

 

The cardiologist came to visit me after the ER staff finally decided to admit me (now a week late in my mind) to explain that there may be several outcomes to a cath lab visit. Medication – Balloon – Stent or a simple cardiac catheterization may be necessary.

 

I ended up with 2 stents due to one artery being 100% clogged now creating its own tributaries and another artery being 95% clogged.

 

So much can happen in a week ~ I guess I did not have simple heartburn for 7 days.

 

Well, the cath lab procedure went well enabling discharge on the following day, Sunday.

 

The cardiologist stopped by, and asked, “How do you feel”?

I replied “Just dandy”.

His retort was, “I’m going out of town so make an appointment to see me in three weeks”.

 

I still had the bandage over my groin incision which I pulled off myself after the doctor left

 

“I guess we will have to figure things out” was Catherine’s only comment on the ride home.

 

Three days later I was in Dr. Johansson’s (in Chicago) office with Catherine to understand what happened as Franciscan communicates these things poorly.

 

My primary care physician of 22 years listened to my heart and suggested I start cardiopulmonary rehab.

 

He was also the one who formally ordered cardiac rehab, not my cardiologist at Franciscan.

 

I was about to say “I wouldn’t know where to begin,” when he pulled out a brochure about Franaciscan’s Cardiopulmonary Rehab program which I did not know existed until that moment – in Chicago 55 miles away from Franciscan Crown Point.

 

After an exchange of phone calls with the program administrator, I was on my way to a heart-healthy lifestyle.

 

Here at the forefront of healing, a superb flock of nurses, perched like sparrows behind a long desk lined with 4 computer monitors, overseeing the rehabber’s efforts at cardio exercise, regularly hopping off and flittering to lead a group exercise, sanitize equipment, or take someone’s BP while on a treadmill.

 

I’m roughly halfway through my scheduled 38 sessions at the time of this writing.

 

Nothing could be better than a summer day motorbike ride from Lowell to Crown Point for 45 minutes of exercise in a beautiful facility except, the hospital’s pretend security.

 

Security should be enforced – or not. 

 

Upon admittance to the program, I was issued a neoprene necklace to hold my Bluetooth heart monitor while working out and a “security ID”.

 

The ID is a laminated card with the word CARDIOPULMANARY, typed across it and highlighted with a yellow marker.

 

This supposedly would allow or deny my entrance to the much-needed heart attack recovery program.

 

It is something a 5th-grader could make which is less troubling than the fact they only ask for it on Wednesdays.

 

I was only requested to display my “security ID” on 4 out of 16 visits.

 

I’m no security expert but I was mildly curious about the inconsistent application because it was the opposite of security – insecure.

 

On a recent visit, I walked into the hospital’s lobby and a civilian started yelling “Sir”.

 

It’s a lobby filled with men so I ignored the mysterious voice.

 

Suddenly I had a man in front of me walking backward saying “I need to see your ID”.

 

I pointed to the empty blue neoprene necklace with my NAME written upon it and asked if he knew what it was and why I was wearing it.

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“No,” he said”

 

“Can I show you?” I asked

 

“No” he repeated.

 

“Then go fu*k yourself” was my final retort.

 

As I was about to open the Rehabs door I heard a booming voice “Don’t go in there”.

 

I opened the door anyway and walked inside.

 

A now booming voice declared “I need to see some ID.”

 

I turned and now faced a Crown Point police officer trying to look very intimidating.

 

As a manager once explained to me, “People don’t intimidate others, you allow yourself to be intimidated.

 

He asked once again for my ID clearly seeing his presence had no effect on me.

 

Again I asked if he would follow me so I could explain what the blue neoprene pockets WITH MY NAME WRITTEN ON IT meant.

 

“No,” he emphatically replied.

 

I could see the rehab nurses close to panicking while nurse Erica hastily stuck a white card in my hand that said in all caps “CARDIO REHAB,” (which is a noun not associated with a particular individual), while another grabbed a blood pressure cuff seeing my “enthusiasm” for the confrontation.

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I then casually replied to the LEO “You can go fu*k yourself too” sticking the card in my pocket without displaying it, and walking away to prepare for my routine.

 

The officer turned and walked away knowing that harassing a recent heart attack victim in a hospital rehab facility in front of 5 nurses and seven elderly heart patients well, would not be a good optic.

 

So while the fine nurses of Franciscan do their darndest to help me get my blood pressure under control, Franciscan’s doctors and security infracture go out of their way to make my blood boil.

 

A caveat, I’m sure the cardiologist has seen some confirmation I’m still alive in the Epic system but I never heard from him after the brief discharge meeting – again.

 

So much for caring.

 

Pop quiz time – below is copy from the Franciscan website.

 

Based on the information above, were their protocols followed? 

 

Our comprehensive, three-phase program

Patients with heart disease can benefit from the comprehensive, three-phase program which provides the optimal amount of exercise and education during each stage of the recovery process.

Phase I

Phase I is ordered by your physician after a heart attack or bypass surgery. This inpatient phase includes education concerning medication, physical activity and cardiovascular disease risk factors. It also includes range of motion exercises and walking.

Phase II

Soon after you are discharged from the hospital, you may enter the outpatient – individual or group exercise – program. After your doctor refers you to the program, the rehab team will help you get started. You will have an initial evaluation and program orientation to provide you with a program that best meets your needs. Most insurance, including Medicare, covers the cost of this program.

Phase III

This phase helps maintain a cardiac fitness program under supervised group settings. Learn, support and meet others that share your new healthy lifestyle.

The Crown Point facility is not listed on the document above – https://www.franciscanhealth.org/conditions-and-services/heart-care/cardiac-rehabilitation

1285 words with 4 typos from the Franciscan website – everything they do is sloppy.

Written by Mitch rezman

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